the call

well today, angie called, telling me that people were unhappy with me... cuz i happened to raise my voice or look unhappy.................................................................................

in other words i have no right to my own feelings

N4 Clusters, i was sick

i was tired

i slept after 12 almost everyday the week before

how do they expect me to look? happy?

thats not to say nothing great happened...

went out with the north vista debate team hehez great ppl they were, though i was tired n sick i had a great time with them, i felt relaxed, i felt appreciated esp with Glenda around.

though i dunno, Mark n Glenn mood swings..
i dunno labut glenn is cool i understand
mark i guess i understand too

but yea... i m tired... i m tired of staying in the background, but that is where i belong. the quiet guy.... really suits me eh 'the unknown person'

i juz feel so inferior to them... i mean how can i compete for attn with them around plus i hate competing. it sumtimes.. well i dunno... sometimes it just. i mean mark is such a great debater.. he has looks.. he has personality... he so outspoken.. so very interesting.. so talented musically............ what am i? NOTHING just NOBODY

haiz i knoe its mean for me to think like this but yea... i dunno

and den this ELDS ppl say im not doin any werk and how Sara have been doin ALL the werk running ard and all!!FARK IT YOU ALL u have no idea U FARKIGN PPL HAVE NO IDEA
i try to be nice i try to listenbut seems to these ppl its not enuff WHY THE FUCK SHUD I CARE HOW U FEEL WHEN U DUN CARE ABT HOW I FEEL... but yea... i do care... a flaw in my character... i care... even for my enemies even for those who hate me
so what satisfies dem? am i suppose to smile everytime? well i try to do that but sumtimes im juz tired, im juz overworked... i got homework i got responsibilites am i suppose to be nice to them always? i cant scold them a little? even when they cant work well? what do they want me to do?

but im not complaining abt helping out north vista... its an expirience i gladly go through again... anytime... anyday cuz i feel apreciated... i dunno if they really do, but i feel it... not like these ppl complaining abt how things are not done well, or cry abt me raising my voice.. these ppl haiz.. they call me a teachers pet!?!! WTF i dun do any extra credit work or anything but hey i do my werk so if i do my werk and the teachers find thats extraordinary... that simply means u ppl are not doing your werk!! if u farkers havent notice i come for every meeting even more than the president herself! and im tired of being brushed aside... the only people that appreiciates my werk is the teachers.

thank you Mr Chacko
thank you Mr Singh
thank you Ms Latha

haiz im tired ppl
im very tired
i dun want recognition
if u dun appreicate my work fine i dun really care

you farkers dun write my testimoinal


i will not let u dictate my life


because im in control of it....

u dunno me

u will never know me

im the unknown person